I don't like to disclose such personal incidents because this isn't the first time it happens in the world. Rather than repeating another tale from a thousand and just talk about it, I try to tackle it in a broader sense to start a conversation, questioning and discussing. That is why I placed this information in a section by itself as I will be removing it once unit 3 has been graded. 

 

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The constant feeling of being misunderstood, feels like a teenage love song on repeat. 

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In April I found out that one of my friends whom I've known for at least 10 years is a predator. Taking advantage of some without permission. This was a shocking experience, mostly because it divided our group into two, the ones that view him for what he is, a predator, and the other who view it as a mistake that apparently, we found out later on, is a recurring one, he has done before. But why was this a secret? Why is it still a secret? How do we, not just as a social group, but as a society, move forward with such situations?

 

Of Course the ones who forgave him were not from the group of women whom he was a predator towards, and the majority were men. It's also good to note, The predator is from one of the wealthier families, which again puts things into perspective. Did those who forgave him do it truly for the sake of being kind, forgiving and understanding ? or is it at personal gain, afraid of what might be done, or lost, when spoken against the “prominent” and wealthy?  And if so, how many have suffered before us, and how many will after? A vicious cycle. 

 

Creating this piece for my MA show was a therapeutic experience, as I painted I would receive a sense of closure, slowly letting go of the hurt, pain and the people.

 

I believe, or at least try to, that everyone is doing the best they can in the moment. It's easy for me to judge when I'm far from the situation, but as I get ready to go back and finally face everyone who was involved, I will do it with an open mind to truly understand what has happened, as I am ready to let go of a lot of “friends” . This will be my attempt to try and break the cycle.

 

Experimenting with a short story/poem situationship: 

 

        - A thick lumpy rug 

 

I once considered him a brother,

 

His name is Ahmed, 

He recently got married,

And I'm not sure his wife knows.

 

I  once considered him a brother,

A bathroom spy, a peeping tech-tom, he used to set up a camera in the bathroom stall.

And apparently he's done it before and some of the boys knew. 

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       They stood around the woven wool

 

I once considered him a brother, 

So far he's been caught red handed, 

twice from what we know, and yet it is a secret, told to a few. 

 

It happened right before covid, but only this April is when I knew, 

What a heartbreak from whom I once considered a brother from a few.  

 

       Lifting up a corner of this thick fabric  

 

I  once considered him a brother,

Invited a predator into my home and family on several occasions I did not know … I considered him a brother… now he has videos of us somewhere on his computer and a kid on the way, soon to be a father.  

 

       Under the rug it goes, like a myth, a rumor, 

        ostriches heads buried in the ground. 

 

Just another lump under a beautifully curated rug, carpets filled the ground.   

 

  

 

Here a short clip by Danial Sloss, who is a comedian, that talks about rape in one of his stand up. i thought it was relevant to place here, because he makes it clear that terrible things can and most of the time are done by people who are close to us. 

the human mind is a beautiful and scary thing all at once.